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My Journey so Far.

Writer: Nilima MowNilima Mow

Today my blog is about my journey so far here at Ball State University. It's about my ups and downs here. Hope you would enjoy this writing. You would get to know how an international student feels when she comes out of her cocoons (her comfort zone). Hope it would help you to deal with the international students this spring semester.






Once my father told me, "you are here to fly in this world, you have your wings, just wait for the time and fly".

This sentence made my life. I always believe I can fly. When I got accepted for Ball State University this April, I really felt that my time has come to have my wings out, It's time to fly.


I came from a developing country and that is thousands of miles away from here. When I first stepped here, I found everything new and different. New country, new environment, new language, new friends, new experiences, new education system-everything was new to me. I came out of my comfort zone. Reality is something

At that time, I couldn't even concentrate on my studies. I tried hard, but I couldn't. I was literally frustrated.

different. Life became hard for me for the first few days. Most of the time, I used to feel like quitting. Everything was going against me. I was lagging behind. I got sick. Too many cultural shocks, I started to experience one by one. On the other hand, my courses were going on, I'm just seeing myself losing every day. However, I had nothing to do. I was losing control over myself even. "I was supposed to fly here but what am I doing" -this gruesome fear made me more frustrated. I didn't feel good to share with others. Because I had that fear too, like how the other person would take me if I share my problems. I got depressed and more depressed.


Then I took the hardest decision that I should share. Because I felt I can share as I was getting good vibes from the people around me.


Then I share my difficulties and complications with my mentor, Writing program director, classmates and others whom I found reliable. Luckily, my assumptions were wrong. They helped me a lot. I got their support. They made me realize again that I'm

They made me realize this. Love for them.

here for my own qualifications. So I have that potential to move further. I can't describe how important that was for me at that point. I feel so fortunate that I got enrollment in this department and I got people around me who are awesome by their heart. All of them are so graceful.

I felt relieved. I started feeling better and started trying to get into my studies. Still, now, I have to struggle a lot. But even then, I'm fine because I'm confident enough now. I found the track that I was about to lose. I got to learn how to handle situations. Probably, I'm not on the top rank, but I'm developing. And I believe, one day I would reach there. I would make it. Because I'm working hard. I believe one thing very much. That is - your hard work and endeavor can bring anything you want.

It's only up to me whether I want to see and go for it. I know I would stumble and I would stand up again and walk again. I have my supportive team with me as well (My lovely English Department).💕💕


I'm struggling still now but I can see my progress too. That seems the light of hope to me. I'm developing myself every day. If I compare to my first class to the last class, I taught, there's a tremendous change. I grew up confidence in myself. I can hold my class. On the first day, I saw some of my students sleeping, having blank faces but in the last class, I saw them very much attentive and I could see they were getting things, they were understanding my point. That's the thing I want. I don't want my class to be hampered. I can see these in changes in me, that makes me happy. And I'm working on it continuously. I know I'm not good enough yet. But I'm assiduous to bring in those skills in myself. I want to succeed, succeed as a teacher. And I want you all to stand by my side like this always.


Thank you, peers. Thank you, Jennifer. Thanks, Will And Zach for your lovely comments and helping with suggestions. Thanks to my English team.


This gives me inspiration.

 
 
 

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3 Comments


jennifer.grouling
Dec 12, 2019

I want to echo Will: so glad we are here to share your journey. I know it hasn't been easy, but hard things are worth doing.

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wschesher
Oct 29, 2019

Hi Nilima.


Thank you for your blog post. Your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your story is important for others to hear! There are many students in similar situations to you who have come to a new university in a new country (and having to deal with a variety of new situations), and I think your story can help them in their own situation/frustration.


In terms of your teaching, I'm glad to hear that your recent classes have been going well. Learning to teach is a process and a journey, and sometimes that journey is difficult and sometimes that journey is rewarding. But regardless of how it goes, we have to take the next step, even if we stumble. No…


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cbetancourth
Oct 28, 2019

Hi Nilima!

I enjoyed reading your blog!

I can completely relate to you in most of the things you mention here. As an international student too, I now how hard this can be when you have to face all this changes at a time. However, as you mention in this blog, I am very happy to see how you are growing despite the hardship of this process. This shows how brave and smart you are. I know that you are going to be a great example for many people in your country because of your humbleness and courage to face difficult challenges. You talk about your gratitude and affection towards the professors and classmates and I share your feelings. However,…

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